Parenting Out-of-Control Teenagers and Pre-Teens

The Telltale Signs of Teen Drug Use

2009-02-16T11:49:00.000-08:00

If you need immediate or additional guidance on how to control your out of control teen, please Click Here! for the support of a long-time juvenile court counselor! It's your child's life.

You have options if you suspect your teen is using drugs or alcohol.

Don't feel guilty about your suspicions, either, it's really about love, as one long time drug testing administrator says.

"You don't have to think they're positive (for drug use)," she said. "It's about loving them."

That's why you take them in and get them tested.

"Be in the know," she said. "Don't guess, know."

Here's what the White House organization known as "Parents: The Anti-Drug" list of warning signs to watch for if you think your teen might be using.

What to watch for:

Some of these symptoms may seem to be ordinary teenage behavior. However, these warning signs - especially when coupled with others - might be indicative of drug or alcohol use:

• Secretive about possessions or activities.

• Changes style of clothing or adopts new ways of dressing.

• Associates regularly with new group of friends.

• Grades drop, truancy or absences increase.

• Sudden interest in room deodorizers, incense or other air fresheners to hide smoke or odors.

• Suddenly begins using mouthwash or breath mints more.

• Uses eye drops to hide bloodshot or dilated eyes.

• Language with friends changes; starts speaking in coded terms or unusual slang.

• Borrows money more.

• Appearance of drug paraphernalia like pipes or rolling paper.

• Keeps stashes of possible inhalants, such as nail polish, corrective fluid, rags and hair spray.

• Missing prescription drugs.

This is what you've been looking for! A proven, easy to impliment course of instruction for parents of out-of-control teens. Click Here!

Tips to Understanding Your Out of Control Teen

2009-02-11T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is what you've been looking for! A proven, easy to impliment course of instruction for parents of out-of-control teens. Click Here!

You're ready to pull your hair out and scream at the top of your lungs! Your teenager is driving you crazy and you feel he or she is out of control. You, as the parent, may have lost, temporarily, the control of your teen. But once you begin to understand less confrontational ways to interact with your teen, you will start to see a better relationship between you and your teen.

Here are some tips to a better understanding and relationship with your out of control teen:

1. Confronted with annoying traits, it's best to develop tolerance, but also make it clear that acceptance does not mean approval;
2. Never, ever, emulate your teen's language or conduct. They deliberately adopt a lifestyle that is different from yours. Such emulation will drive your teen into opposition;
3. Every teenager has some imperfections about which he or she is overly sensitive. Be very careful not to reinforce them. Their peers will soon enough torment them with terms like shorty, geeky, fats or chicken. The insults cut deeper and last longer when they come from a parent. Even in jest, it is wiser not to tease your teen;
4. Teens crave independence and react to dependence with hostility. Smart parents make themselves increasingly dispensable to teenagers. The more self-sufficient teens are made to feel, the less hostile they will be towards their parents. When talking to your teen, emphasize phrases like-"Whatever you think...", "It's your decision...", "The choice is up to you...".
5. Don't hurry to correct facts. Parents who are always trying to prove how right they are irritate teens. When attitudes are hostile, facts are unconvincing;
6. Let them have their privacy. This demonstrates respect,
7. Don't preach or lecture. Never use reverse psychology or predictions like- "You'll never be able to hold a job unless you learn to get up on time",
8. Avoid confused or contradictory messages. It's better to state a clear prohibition-"Sorry, honey, that's out for tonight." Or a state a gracious permission or open choice-"You may go if you want," "Have a good time."

And finally, listen with sympathetic attention. Repeat the gist of what you hear, crystallizing what your teen may have said vaguely. State your own views honestly, without criticizing your teen or calling him or her names.

Need more help and guidance? How about 20 years experience working with kids and parents in the court system teaching parents how to regain control of there strong willed, out of control teen? Click Here! you will not find anything better, easier or more supportive!

Teens offer advice on how to get through to them

2009-01-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

Teenagers want to talk to their parents. They want to be heard and they want to be trusted. But many times, through bad timing, poor word choice or just simple insensitivity, parents find themselves in front of a closed bedroom door wondering what went wrong. Although the following are some good tips that come from teens, to really change your relationship with your teen, with support and guidance Click Here!

The pitfalls parents can fall into when they go to have a heart-to-heart with their teen are plentiful. So to help parents navigate the choppy waters of teenage communication, below are a number of tips offered by High School students.

6 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO

1. Talk to them like they are adults. They respond when they feel like you're communicating on common ground.
2. Give them advice instead of just telling them what to do. They want to hear that you care and that you're interested in their lives. A lot of that can be communicated through advice rather than orders.
3. Use a little tact when approaching sensitive topics. Blurting out "Are you on drugs?" is going to make them defensive. Approach them from a position of trust and help them understand that you care.
4. Use words they understand. They don't want any of that fancy talk or to be approached like a client.
5. Find smart, in-depth questions you can ask them. If you want your teen to talk to you, ask them something that sincerely reflects an interest in their world.
6. Tell them they've done something good or something right from time to time. They love your praise.

7 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO

1. Don't be so formal when broaching a serious subject. Relax a little and try just talking to them.
2. Don't use their slang. It's sounds hokey, false and insincere.
3. Don't nag. Find other ways to communicate the things you want them to do. Nagging immediately puts people on the defensive.
4. Don't ask the same questions every day. They know you want to know about their day, their friends, their life. So you don't need to ask them about it every day and when you do, try to steer away from the stock questions like, "how was your day?"
5. Don't always assume the worst. Give your teenager the benefit of the doubt once in a while. It goes a long way in building trust.
6. Don't talk down to them. You've got to use words they understand, but they don't like to be spoken to like a third-grader.
7. Don't yell at them. Nothing else you do will push them away or shut them down faster than this.

After many, many years teaching high school teenagers, Emilie has seen it all...from great kids to, well, you know, the worst! She has found the very best program that really works at turning your teenager's attitude and behavior around. Click Here! to start Today! The sooner you start, the sooner both you and your teen will be happier!
P.S. This program not only has a proven track record, you will not believe what you get for less than the price of taking your family out for fast food! Click Here to get it NOW!

Who Really Is In Control?

2009-01-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

Are you at wits end when trying to deal with a child who is out of control? The irony is, of course, that the child is not out of control. The child is in total control. What's happening, and more often to the mother, is that the child is out of the mother’s control. The desperation is: “Help, I’m not in control of my kids!” In situations like this, the issue at stake is, indeed, control. Who has the control? Who has the power? More often than not, it’s the kid. Why is that?

Unfortunately, there is not just one answer. However, it is important for parents to understand that children, paticularly teenagers, are in a developmental stage where they are experimenting with and learning about control and power. It is both necessary and important that they develop these attributes. Can you imagine an adolescent or young adult that has not learned how to have some control and power in life? That would not be healthy at all. But, if parents are not aware of this need of their child’s or if parents are not aware of how to handling this development, the kids can develop unbridled.

Responding to an out of control child can require a strategy. Like playing a game of chess, it may be necessary for the parent to anticipate what the child will do when they intervene. The parent may need to know ahead of time what to do for the next step--and the step after that. Parents need to be prepared with counter moves.

How can you know how you must react when dealing with your out of control child? You need a proven method with guidance and support. And usually pretty fast!
Click Here! for the proven solution to your child discipline that you can begin right now...Yes,, right now, day or night, that will begin to change your family's dynamics! And, it won't break the bank!!!

How To Control Your Kids - Are They Driving You Crazy?

2009-01-12T13:58:00.000-08:00

Have you typed any of these phrases into a search engine lately? (In a hurry?Click Here!)

~how to control your kids
~take control of my kids
~my child is driving me crazy
~how to deal with smart mouth kids
~getting rid of your child's bad attitude
~dealing with kids that don't listen
~how do i control my kids i'm going crazy
~trying to get control on your teen
~tips on how to deal with out of control preteen
~kids with bad behavier
~how to control my kids
~how to gain control of my teenager
~how to control children behavior
~dealing with kids attitudes
~dealing with bad attitudes
~getting back contol over my bad teenager

I know exactly how you feel. I remember having a teenager with a bad attitude. I remember standing there when he back talked and thinking, "What do I do or say now?"
I also remember feeling helpless, and that he was in control, not me! It's a terrible feeling.

Back then, there was no internet to go to and find the help and support a parent needs when they've lost control of their child. And, if you're reading this, I know that's what you're desperately seeking...a solution that's do-able.

What if I found one for you that has this kind of feedback from parents that have used it?

"I just wanted to say a BIG
Thank You for your work!
I think, I mean I KNOW that
your e-books and website are
the most informative I have
ever seen. And I have looked
everywhere, read everything,
tried it all! Thank you!" - D.G.

“Your ebook is very thorough
and has helped me and my
family immensely. My
husband and I have a better
understanding now! Since
completing the program, my
son Jonathon has brought his
grades up 35%, and he is
getting praise from teachers.
The Assistant Principal wrote
a letter describing
improvements in Jonathan’s
behavior and gave it to me at
the parent-teacher
conference.” - T.S.

“We thank everyone involved
with this program. We are
using the techniques we have
learned on ALL of our children,
not just the one we were
having trouble with.” - A.J.

“I looked forward to each
session. It was my support to
get through the week. Plus I
looked forward to what new
things to learn to help with my
child. Thanks for your help.
Thanks for being there."
- J.D.

“Everything was helpful. I wish
I had known about this class 3
years ago. I hope we haven’t
waited too long to try these
parenting techniques.”
- M.Q.

"I am very pleased to know I
have somewhere I can come
for help -- and I thank you for
your help!" - A.H.

"I know if it hadn't been for this
program, my son would be in
the 'system' and my stress
level would be through the
roof." - J.L.

"It's been 6 weeks since my
wife and I completed the
ebook, and although things
are not perfect -- it's a lot
better than it was! Thanks."
- S.H.

“The ebook was straight
forward and concise. It was
good to see another
approach. I wish we had
started using these
techniques earlier." - L.D.

“This program should be
mandatory for some
parents!" - J.H.

"I remember feeling so
helpless, like I couldn't do
anything about the chaos and
drama in my home. I told
myself, 'If you haven't got the
power, there is nothing you
can do about your situation' ...
Seeing myself as helpless
insured paralysis and provided
a powerful rationale for doing
nothing. But now I feel
empowered -- because most
of the things I'm trying actually
work." - M.C.

"I pretended that things were
getting better on their own, but
this pretending took the place
of the effort required to bring
about real change. That's all
over now. I'm taking
responsibility for my part of
the problem, and my daughter
is accepting here part as
well." - B.E.

"I think my biggest problem
was that I didn't change the
things that weren't working.
I kept using the same
parenting strategies and
hoped for different results.
This turned out to be almost
as big a problem as not trying
to fix problems in the first
place. For example, I thought
that threatening to do this or
that was an effective form of
discipline -- but since I had to
use it each day to correct the
same problem, it should have
been obvious that it was not a
good strategy. I have better
tools in my parenting toolbox
now. Thanks for all your
help." - G.B.

"I realized I was very good at
allowing my children to be
independent, but I was not
very good at setting clear and
firm limits for behavior. My
children easily discovered
rules that could be broken if
their protests were long and
loud enough ...Often times,
I just wanted to avoid the
hassle of a conflict. It was
easier for me to let the rules
slide than to deal with the
fuss. Also, it was sometimes
hard to refuse my children
anything, because I didn't
want them to be unhappy.
I thought "unhappy children"
equals "bad parents." And I
guess at some level I was
afraid my children would
become angry and hate me if
I set boundaries. Now I know
that children want to know
that their parents are in
charge; they need structure
and limits. This concept alone
is helping me immensely."
- J.W.

"Just a short note to say
thanks. We are now well into
your assignments and things
are going well. As you
predicted, things got a lot
worse to begin with, but the
three kids and both parents
are starting to settle well. We
are getting into a routine, and
now “no” is beginning to mean
“no,” consequences to actions
are beginning to be
recognized, and your method
of getting them to do
something is very effective.
Many thanks. I hope it's still
o.k. to write with any
questions as they come
along, as I feel we are only
part way through. And as they
get older, new things are
going to appear. Thanks
again." - M.V.

"Thanks for the
accommodations. You are a
big help. I started some of the
pointers that we've talked
about, and I see some good
effects. It's very hard to switch
emotions, but I'm trying my
best. I think I will be sending
you a lot of thanks for this
book and for the warm
accommodation on the first
phone consultation. I know I
got the right help now. I wish
God will give you more time to
accommodate parents like
me." - K.N.

"My husband and I have been
going over your book and we
have found it to be incredibly
helpful. I am still losing
control over myself and getting
into screaming matches with
my ODD kid, but we are still
doing better than before we
found your book." - C.K.

“Thank you for saving my
family. When my 13-year-old
daughter turned into an angry
out of control person last
spring I had no idea of how to
handle her. Nor did the
therapists I consulted. I
thought I might have to put her
into a residential treatment
program. I found your website
and downloaded your book. I
refer to it as "the Bible." My
daughter's behavior turned
around the instant I stood up
to her and gave her limits. The
change was amazing and all
for the good. It has helped me
to be clear, less reactive,
calmer, more loving - and a lot
firmer. If a situation arises, I
feel that I know what to do and
what action to take. In other
words, you are a genius! I am
deeply grateful.” - J.B.

These are parents just like you, who were at their wits end. Then they discovered this first rate Parenting Program that changed their family life...to the better!

Yes, this program will take some commitment, work and time - not as much you think! It has a proven success rate, if you follow it.

And NO!, it won't cost you a car payment and anything even close to that. You will be surprised that, for all the information and support (forums, email contact--why you can even call direct to the creator and get assistance!)it doesn't even cost as much as a couple going to the movies!!!

Why doesn't it cost much? Because Mark cares what happens to teenagers. He has been working in the Juvenile Courts system in Indiana for years. He knows what he's talking about. He's seen the worse and helped guide more parents than he can count to successfully gain control back.

Click Here! and discover the best program and support you could ever dream of getting!

After many, many years teaching high school teenagers, Emilie has seen it all...from great kids to, well, you know, the worst! She has found the very best program that really works at turning your teenager's attitude and behavior around. Click Here! to start Today!

How to Raise a Teenager in Today's World

2009-01-03T16:55:00.000-08:00

Being a parent of a teenager today can seem overwhelming, if not, at times, darn right frustrating! Trying to understand their world-of peer pressure, social networking, and the fear they're growing up too fast-can seem like a full-time job in itself. And knowing with confidence what to do and when is more important than ever.

If you are like me, there are times you feel your child is out of control. You know what I'm talking about...the back talk, bad attitude, ignoring responsiblities and you, and worse, getting into serious trouble!

What's a parent to do? Well, it really is up to you, as the parent, to regain the control of your teenager. But, how, you ask? "I've tried everything I know of!" And that's just it...you're not expected to 'know' all the techniques and solutions when things get out of control. But there is somewhere you can get the help and guidance you need. And, impliment it quickly and over time to radically change not only your child's attitude and behavior but your home environment into a peaceful one.

Online Parent Support (OPS) is a program designed specifically for parents of strong-willed or out-of-control adolescent children. OPS provides the practical and emotional support parents need to change destructive adolescent behavior.

The straightforward, step-by-step action plans presented in the curriculum allow parents to take immediate steps toward preventing or intervening in their children’s negative choices. Parents involved with OPS have the opportunity to experience success at home within the first week.

The curriculum teaches concrete prevention, identification, and intervention strategies for the most destructive of adolescent behaviors. Parents cycle through programming quickly, thus reducing the length of time that (a) effective solutions in parenting are implemented and (b) resultant positive change in adolescent behavior is experienced.

OPS is not only for parents of 'bad' kids. Even good kids and great parents can run into problems. OPS recognizes this fact and is designed to offer sound, practical help for the majority of parents and the majority of kids.

This program works! And, it doesn't take alot of time...4 ninety minute sessions. Plus, there is a forum where you can share with other parents, audio, an ebook, email and phone support and more! I doubt you will find anything-anywhere-more thorough, more positive and successful anywhere else!

Give it a try...afterall, what do you have to lose, oh, yeah, your frustration, your child's bad attitude and the stress it all creates in your life and home, just to name a few. Go on...Click Here! and check it out!

Control the Anger Between You and Your Teen

2008-11-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

While few families will admit to it, anger is a constant undercurrent and can lead to an Out of Control Teenager. Parental expectations can conflict with the teenager's wishes. And, teens resent limitations placed on them. The result is an Out of Control Teen and an unhappy, stress filled home.

Anger can manifest itself in indirect fighting, Teenagers may say they will do something, then don't. They constantly "forget" to do what they are told. They pretend not to hear what is being said to them. They often act bored and roll their eyes when instruction begins. Sound familiar?

Adults also indulge in this passive anger. They are notorious for agreeing to do something for a teen, then neglecting it. Parents say, "of course, Sweetie", without really hearing a word the teen said. And, they are often too busy to help their teen with a problem that isn't urgent. Does this ring a bell?

To defuse anger, both sides must learn to fight fair. No winner or loser will result, just a positive way of deploying anger. Learn to express anger without being cruel. Pass up things you don't really want to do, rather than make promises then forgetting it. And, make expectations realistic. Don't overload your teen with goals they can't possibly meet, but make reasonable, attainable goals. Then no one is upset and disappointed.

By taking a deep breath and being aware of the content of your interactions with your teenager, the less likelyhood an angry confontation will result, because you are in control.

Need more help and guidance? How about 20 years experience working with kids and parents in the court system teaching parents how to regain control of there strong willed, out of control teen? CLICK HERE!

How to Talk to Your Teenager Without Ending in a Fight

2008-11-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows that the teenage years are a time of turbulence. Many parents interpret their teens behavior as out of control because it's then that parental help is perceived as interfering, concern as babying, and advise as bossing. Dilemmas for parents--
How to help when assistance is resented?
How to counsel when guidance is rejected?
How to communicate with your teen when attention is taken as attack?

What's really going on is your teen is trying to remake his or her childhood personality into a grown-up one with an individual identity; establish new identifications with their peers; and adjust to the many physical changes they are experiencing. This process takes time and is a great deal of trial and error. It also requires that your teen distance themself from you, the parent.

Here are some helpful guidelines:

1. Accept the teen's need for rebellion during this phase of development;
2. Relax in the face of the inevitable;
3. Expect irritating behavior that flies in the face of everything you hold dear.

Understand that it is normal for your teenager to behave in an inconsistent and unpredictable manner. Hating one's parents one minute and desperately seeking a heart-to-heart talk the next; trying out new personality types and behavior patterns, then discarding them; worrying about society and the cosmos one minute then becoming overcome with personal agonies and uncertainties the next minute is the journey your teen must make to enter into adulthood. You are the guide.

It is not helpful to ask “What’s the matter with you?”, “Why can’t you get along?”, “What’s suddenly gooten into you?”. Your teen doesn’t want instant understanding. Don’t pretend to know how they feel. Your teen can’t believe you, the parent, was ever a teenager or felt the same way they are feeling now.

The most important single rule when talking with your teen is this: Do Not Deny Their Feelings, Preceptions, or Experiences.

Would you like more support,information, guidance and resources to be successful in parenting your teenager and changing your child's bad behavior and attitude? Click Here! and discover the most effective and proven parenting advise and resource on the web!