Teens offer advice on how to get through to them

Teenagers want to talk to their parents. They want to be heard and they want to be trusted. But many times, through bad timing, poor word choice or just simple insensitivity, parents find themselves in front of a closed bedroom door wondering what went wrong. Although the following are some good tips that come from teens, to really change your relationship with your teen, with support and guidance Click Here!

The pitfalls parents can fall into when they go to have a heart-to-heart with their teen are plentiful. So to help parents navigate the choppy waters of teenage communication, below are a number of tips offered by High School students.

6 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO

1. Talk to them like they are adults. They respond when they feel like you're communicating on common ground.
2. Give them advice instead of just telling them what to do. They want to hear that you care and that you're interested in their lives. A lot of that can be communicated through advice rather than orders.
3. Use a little tact when approaching sensitive topics. Blurting out "Are you on drugs?" is going to make them defensive. Approach them from a position of trust and help them understand that you care.
4. Use words they understand. They don't want any of that fancy talk or to be approached like a client.
5. Find smart, in-depth questions you can ask them. If you want your teen to talk to you, ask them something that sincerely reflects an interest in their world.
6. Tell them they've done something good or something right from time to time. They love your praise.

7 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO

1. Don't be so formal when broaching a serious subject. Relax a little and try just talking to them.
2. Don't use their slang. It's sounds hokey, false and insincere.
3. Don't nag. Find other ways to communicate the things you want them to do. Nagging immediately puts people on the defensive.
4. Don't ask the same questions every day. They know you want to know about their day, their friends, their life. So you don't need to ask them about it every day and when you do, try to steer away from the stock questions like, "how was your day?"
5. Don't always assume the worst. Give your teenager the benefit of the doubt once in a while. It goes a long way in building trust.
6. Don't talk down to them. You've got to use words they understand, but they don't like to be spoken to like a third-grader.
7. Don't yell at them. Nothing else you do will push them away or shut them down faster than this.

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